Life... and once it reaches it's end

I'm realizing that I have an issue of trying to sum up the totality of life based on current merit.
If the times are good then life is good but if the times are bad then life is not worth living.

The intrinsic problem with this view is that life is made whole only through the parts... while in the same breath it would be impossible to judge the quality of life with out first having an established standard.
So what is a good life? Is this question doomed to be eternally fluid. A sliding scale that never gains footing. Or are there universal guidelines?

Simply put there is no one simple answers.

Life is not all we experience, it's the way we encounter, the way we react.
And the best part is, it does not begin and end with us, nor is it summed up by others.

It's been so long since I've been afforded the opportunity to relax.
I am currently in the last half of my vacation and have some time to think... It has occurred to me that for almost the past 3 years I have worked a job I hate. Dated women I don't care for. And spent most of my waking moments trying to live up to this idea unseen.
I have not accomplished much in terms of my life goals... sure I did all the things on my list of new years resolutions but as for permanent decisions the past few years have been a gracious art of floundering.

The truth doesn't sell, so lets only package lies.

"If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it..." - Hitler
We've all heard reports about tea parties and anti- campaigns and health care reform, and bailouts....
The question comes to who is telling the truth anymore?

Freedom

Freedom cannot be forced into existence, nor can it be won through painful struggle. Freedom cannot be bought or sold. It has nothing to do with one’s social status; one’s profession is of no consequence. In order for you to accept yourself as you are and live with your soul at peace, you must simply teach yourself to let it be, only then will you discover freedom.-Zuikō Samurai Champloo

Doppelgänger, and all the glorious dead....

"I honestly want to turn this world to mere ash and kill everyone in it..."

I've never really admitted to anyone but I think a lot about death.
Not just in a suicidal sense or one with murderous intentions, but a death in terms of legacy.

Many men speak of new beginnings but I find it necessary to first speak of an end.
The end of corruption, the end of willing weakness, the end of complacency.

We are often fed our thoughts and emotions our likes and dislikes and what we do not collect we inherit partially through osmosis. Now this isn't the results of a scientific study, nor simple conjecture. But the result of simple observation.
A son typically seeks to imitate his father... children dress up in their parents clothes and often (comically) impersonate our "best" traits.

Even though through adolescence we go through the process of self discovery, our ideas are often formed from outside influence.

The ending I seek is not one of destruction one thats sole purpose is a tearing down.
But I seek an apocalypse. An ending that is whole, that is complete that doesn't leave in it's wake pain but one that leaves purity.
And this end has to be birthed first in thought. Society must shift it's line of conscience from imitation to one of creation.


What will be written about us is what happens in our day to day.
even our lives are a mere short story compared to the scope of history.

Be aware of an end.

one part of the truth....

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it. - Mary Wilson

The problem with the religious right and the liberal left....

This is a challenge for most americans but for this post I will focus on one... myself.
The challenge is simple; it is also a word that is misused so often it has become bastard.
It is summed up in the word "Love."
As one who prescribes to the biblical idea of “Christianity,” I realize love is held in the highest of standards. I don’t mean a love romantic in nature but a love that is unconditional yet somehow not unattached.

Jesus statements in Matt 22:36 are one of the best examples of unconditional love.

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" ³⁷Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' ³⁸This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' ⁴⁰All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

Now I’m not usually one to quote scriptures because not all people believe it, so I will make an attempt at narrative.
As a wise friend put it to me “unconditional love is the kind of love a mother has for a child… even in the face of adversity. Like when she knows her child is going to cause great harm to the (her) world and she births him anyway… that is love inexplicable.”

That is the kind of love that I do not possess… like many I find it easier to find fault than to extend grace. I do not have a genuine love for the scourge the derelicts the lost if you will. But in the same breath I do not have a love for the betters, the wealthy, or the upper class.

With the constant push in the media for more and an under surge of selfishness; the constant need to consume and think of “your” betterment. There is no time for others or the thought of need outside our own. And I have bought into this lie, this illusion hook line and sinker. But I have pushed it to its fringes so much so that I completely exclude the thought of others… right down to their humanity.

But the best thing about love is it’s a choice. No matter how often that choice needs to be renewed, in it’s most basic form it is a decision. And unconditional love is the choice to extend grace to everyone.

Revolution is an idea and never an action

Upon contemplating freedom I wonder if it's possible that we are resting on the laurels and ideas of anarchists and revolutionaries.

MKULTRA

Another of the great systems of control is none other than the Government.

They regulate every aspect of life from what you eat to how you have sex. Every product you buy is sealed with a stamp of approval by good ol' Uncle Sam. And those without that stamp cannot be sold. Every movie you watch is rated based on uncle sams standards telling you content with phrases like mature subject mater.

Granted so far none of these are bad things, many of them are meant to protect you. But how many times have you had a say in product quality standards or movie rating systems? Now you may be thinking I have a say in the way I spend and in what I watch. While this may be true how often have you had say in a products minimum operation time or just what PG13 really means, when was the last time you understood the list of ingredients on something as simple a bubble gum.
The point I'm trying to make is this; in allowing constant regulation of our lives we loose control. We relinquish it to a select few, a group of senators, a board or committee, a CEO.
And I've said it before, corruption comes in many colors.... no one is immune. Why is it the minority rule over the majority?
Today I resign to begin a quite uprising... one of those things to make you think.

The Latest and the Greatest

The strange thing about honesty is it's unwavering. It doesn't care about your feelings or insight, it is only and can only be one thing.
To be honest I still haven't let my dream die.

"...what Malcolm X said when he got silenced by Elijah Mohammed was in fact true, America's chickens…are coming home to roost. We took this country by terror, away from the Sioux, the Apache, the Arowak, the Comanche, the Arapahoe, the Navajo. Terrorism. We took Africans from their country to build our way of ease and kept them enslaved and living in fear. Terrorism. We bombed Granada and killed innocent civilians, babies, non-military personnel. We bombed the black civilian community of Panama with stealth bombers and killed unarmed teenagers and toddlers, pregnant mothers, and hardworking fathers. We bombed Qaddafi's home and killed his child. Blessed are they who bash your children's head against a rock. We bombed Iraq. We killed unarmed civilians trying to make a living. We bombed a plant in Sudan to payback for the attack on our embassy, killed hundreds of hardworking people, mothers and fathers who left home to go that day not knowing that they would never get back home. We bombed Hiroshima, we bombed Nagasaki, and we nuked far more than the thousands in New York and the Pentagon and we never batted an eye. Kids playing in the playground, mothers picking up children from school, civilians, not soldiers, people just trying to make it day by day.

We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians and Black South Africans and now we are indignant because the stuff we have done overseas is now brought right back to our own front yards. America's chickens are coming home to roost."

I'm making attempts at a lot of things. Lately the greatest of these fashions is honesty... me trying to be honest with myself, honest with others, honest with God. You see the truth is the more someone believes something the more likely he is to act on it. So what do i do? I do nothing for the simple reason I believe nothing or no one. I'm not quite sure which.
Or perhaps the things I believe are my own... not yet written in the marks of men.

It seems these burdens I carry... I carry them alone.
And this faith I have, this mantra I live by... I'd die for. Well I believe it truth but I cannot see it... It cannot be quantified.

So where does this leave me? Alone questioning my very existence, or deny the one thing I've know all along....

....Money, its a crime. Share it fairly but dont take a slice of my pie. Money, so they say Is the root of all evil today.

The largest controller in the world at this time is money.
We slave away for it, go to great lengths to get it store it in mattresses and special building with walls more secure than the buildings where our young are born.
Money can either liberate or enslave as it has for thousands of years. Those of us that don't have it work for those that do.
I posted an excerpt from the lyrics to Pink Floyd's song "Money" as my title to help me gain slight perspective.
See the problem with money is that it's ever fleeting, it's always grounded in uncertainty.
And it's always controlled by those unseen.
Or is it?
The truth is we are one of the wealthiest generations ever. Compared to the rest of the world we can buy what we want and need (not necessarily in that order).
And the truth is very few of us are not captive to greed.

I pose the question what is work worth and whats is really the value of money?
I mean it's paper or metal and sometimes it's not even that... for instance. The stock market is a trade in shares and stocks. Digital numerals that aren't guaranteed to have any physical backing whatsoever.
Not trying to knock our system of trade, but simply trying give a realistic view of the thing we spend most of our day obeying.

Where do you place your wealth?

Tick tock goes the clock....

This is the second in what is seemingly a never ending sea of discontent.
"Time" is the beast I speak of, it swallows us whole without our consent. How many different instances has "time" come up in your daily life? 9-5, 24/7 365, time has become more than just a unit of measurement it has become the invisible dominator of society.
We measure our lives, and grade some aspect of ourselves with it, making false assumptions that the longer we have the more we can get done. This subversive line is again based on quantity rather than quality.
Moving about with wary eyes firmly fixed on an invisible constraint can cause a loss of focus.
Imagine for a moment if you were able to focus on each activity you engaged in with the utmost singularity. With out deadlines, and the constant pull of the next thing. The quality of all you do would increase significantly... being able to play everything out to it's completion.

And I'm not speaking of living in the moment with reckless abandon. I'm Speaking of shearing the chains and constraints of schedule.
Don't look at the clock... cause it'll just come back around to say the same thing again.

The first in control....

.... this is the first of several post about various controllers in this american existence.
First off i wanted to say these are fact's not truth.
The difference facts can be changed truth cannot.
These post are also my opinion not news.

The first in controllers is the class and location in which you are born and live in.
Someone who is born in an affluent neighborhood has more opportunities available to them.
While in contrast those born in poorer circumstance will have to work much harder to get half those opportunities.
Allow me a moment for an analogy: Two children born on the same day in the same city on different sides of town, their parents have the same dreams for them... the same goals. Both families are comprised of 4 children, 2 working parents, and they have similar expenses a mortgage, 2 cars and all the insurance and taxes for everyday living.
The only two differences in these families are their locations and incomes.
We all know the lure of the "American dream" we all feel it's pull because it has been conditioned into us.
While the Child Born uptown has greater means beyond that of the government regulated services and education the child born downtown is limited by the fact that his parents means can not provide him those opportunities.
It is a simple analogy but one often overlooked by the idea that we are all created equal.
This idea never taking into thought the simple fact of privilege.

Controllers...

Soon I'll be doing a series of posts about the various things that control our lives. Sometimes voluntarily other times with out our knowledge.

it'a been awhile... but we are not yet machines.

Strange things have continually happened during my time between post. I wont go into much detail but i will say this humanity has been reduced to such an extent that sometimes i feel the powers that be have forgot that at the end of their research and the end of formulas lies a human being.... a person with a soul.
A heart, and mind that cannot be disconnected from this mortal coil... the tether that binds us together but remains intangible is our longing for love.
And I don't mean love in a romantic sense but unconditional community.
Don't mistake my remarks for the ever so popular new wave of communism that sweeps this nation. But humanity needs to be reminded of the needs of others the cares of other and the longings of all around us.

Quote of the day

"Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free-wills involve, and you find that you have excluded life itself."
C. S. Lewis

Good quote....

"It has been said that our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength."
Charles Haddon Spurgeon

Again And Again...on and on into oblivion

You ever get that feeling that life is passing you by? Or perhaps it's the opposite, you're to busy to come up for air. What happened to balance and composure?
When I was younger (not saying I'm old) I used to think being "grown up" was about how busy I could be, how many different tasks I could juggle.
And the truth is, like peter pans lost boys, or Toys'r'us I never wanted to grow up.

"Life is not solely about tasks, but tastes"

Life is one of those things we seem to talk about, and attempt to live. But many of us never seem to experience.
Granted many of us are in the clutches of a "career" or some other consuming effort,
take the time out to look at the sky, notice a new song, be kind for no reason, then share it with someone. Look for the intricate details....

compassion in the midst of crisis.....

In recent months we have heard time and time again about the growing financial crisis in america.
From the breakdown of the mortgage industry, to the collapse of wall street, it seems no financial market is safe. And what resolution did our leaders give us in our time of uncertainty? They gave our money away to companies who on a grand scale make products far inferior to their competitors (you have no choice in the matter they will take it via taxes).
And if that wasn't bad enough you have the Maddoffs and AIGs to rip you off in a completely new sense of the word.

So what is one to do in times of blatant greed, and when law has clearly been reduce to a set of managerial mantras.
Are we to turn inward and hoard what little we can hide from prying eyes... if this is the answer i fear we as americans may be headed for the end... greed, selfishness, and autonomy where the traits that original pushed this raft out on the sea of confusion.

I believe we need to whole heartedly let go... and that simply means instead of holding the wealth of this great nation with a clinched fist, offer it with open palms... not to major corporations or those who would simply pocket a profit but to those in genuine need. Those who would help others, and build products that have a lasting value, those that can revolutionize business by making it honest once more (no one remembers the day when a mans word was all the contract needed and the handshake would seal the deal), those who will train the youth to continue the process of growth....

In plain terms the financial rescue was failed from the start... for the simple reason it left that sense of autonomy in tact. It provided a get out of jail free card if you will.... for the very kind of irresponsibility that sank these institutions and began this vicious cycle.